Relationship Paradox: The Spiritual Quest for Union and Freedom

Kendell Thornton
Dowling College, Oakdale, NY, US

Series: Psychology Research Progress
BISAC: SEL016000


Volume 10

Issue 1

Volume 2

Volume 3

Special issue: Resilience in breaking the cycle of children’s environmental health disparities
Edited by I Leslie Rubin, Robert J Geller, Abby Mutic, Benjamin A Gitterman, Nathan Mutic, Wayne Garfinkel, Claire D Coles, Kurt Martinuzzi, and Joav Merrick


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This book is an exploration into the dynamics of interpersonal relationships, and how the spiritual quest for union is tempered by the human desire for freedom. Since being in an intimate relationship is not the cause of happiness, a major focus of this book is to help the readers understand the need to take responsibility for their own happiness. Only when people learn to understand their own happiness, regardless of being in a relationship, will they be able to cultivate a successful relationship because they want a relationship, and not because they think they need a relationship to be happy. (Imprint: Nova)


Chapter 1 - We Often Want What We Don‟t Have (pp. 1-14)

Chapter 2 - What We Want Is Often Not What We Need (pp. 15-28)

Chapter 3 - We Must Be Able To Be Happy Alone, Before We Can Be Happy In A Relationship (pp. 29-38)

Chapter 4 - We Must Be Selfish To Be Self-Less (pp. 39-52)

Chapter 5 - We Must Offer Trust Before It Has Been Earned, Because Trust Can‟t Be Earned (pp. 53-60)

Chapter 6 - The More We Want Equity In The Relationship, The Less Equitable It Will Be (pp. 61-76)

Chapter 7 - We Will Hurt The One We Love, And The One We Love Will Hurt Us (pp. 77-86)

Chapter 8 - We Must Be Able To Be In Relationship And Maintain Our Freedom (pp. 87-98)

Chapter 9 - Life Is What Happens When We Are Busy Making Relationship Plans (pp. 99-114)


"Dr. Kendell Thornton's book is an insightful and engaging study of the psychology of relationships. He explains the paradoxes of relationships,such as why we hurt the ones we love and why we want what we cannot have, in ways that are both interesting and profound. Understandable and useful for psychologists and general readers alike, Relationship Paradox is a much needed addition to the relationship science literature, and a book that can help anyone gain a deeper understanding of the most important things in our lives our personal relationships." - William Indick, Ph.D., Associate Professor of Psychology, Dowling College, Oakdale, NY, USA

"Relationship Paradox does double-duty: a concise overview of the scholarly research on relationships, and original insights from Dr. Thornton on the essence of great relationships integrating ideas across many areas within psychology. Highly recommended!" - Marcus C. Tye, Ph.D., Sexuality & Our Diversity: Integrating Culture with the Biopsychosocial (in preparation for late 2012 / early 2013 release), Professor of Psychology, Dowling College, Oakdale, NY, USA

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