Here at Nova we work hard to make our authors and readers happy. But it doesn’t mean we don’t have fun. We are posting some fun interpersonal communication between NOVA staff (approved by both parties of course).
July 7th 2015
Thanks so much, Louis. If ok, I will send you a few more titles our Management team inquired about.
At 10:20 AM 7/7/2015:
In lieu of writing lofty poems for you, I’ll maintain my professionalism and offer you my emphatic thanks and appreciation. I can’t remember ever being this excited to read a contract. Will be in touch again soon.
May 2nd 2019
From: Louis Maurici [mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org]
Sent: Thursday, May 2, 2019 4:53 PM
I keep thinking about that guy’s sunshine line and how much I don’t like him. I mean, if you’re gonna compliment a girl’s smile, you should think of something better than overused sun comparisons. Maybe it was his intention to juxtapose your brightness with such a dim cliché. And really, who likes to stare at the sun? Was he saying that it’s painful to look at you or that if you guys went out he would have to wear special viewing glasses? I feel like homeboy didn’t put too much thought into it. He obviously knows precious little about you and our sun. Our sun converts 600 million tons of hydrogen into helium every second; I’ve seen you eat, and you don’t have that kind of appetite. And as far as stars go, our sun isn’t that impressive. It’s not even massive enough to fuse iron and go supernova when it dies. Instead, it will flare up as a Red Giant and then fade out to become a White Dwarf and then eventually a Black Dwarf. So, which is it? Is this guy trying to call you a giant? Or a dwarf? Or black? If he was so determined to compare your smile to a star, he should have said that your smile is so bright you must be fusing silicone into iron in your core. That’s the stuff of supernovas, and it doesn’t happen until the core temperature reaches about 3.5 billion Kelvin (6.3 billion degrees Fahrenheit). The guy had a perfect opportunity to tell you that you’re hot like 3.5 billion Kelvin, and he blew it! He didn’t even choose the right celestial object for you. If he was paying attention he’d know enough to compare you to a nebula. Nebulas are the always-beautiful remnants of exploded stars. They are the interstellar nurseries where all new stars are born. They remind us that there is life and beauty in death and destruction.
If you’re more tolerant than I am with this kind of thing, I think you should at least demand nothing less than moon comparisons. The moon is always elegant and full of romance, and the sun knows he can’t compete with her grace. The next time a guy compares you to the sun I hope you keep these things in mind, and I hope you say something to him like “the sun is 93 million miles away and that’s where you make me want to be.”